I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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