I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
