hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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