ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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