Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have fence marks all over my body
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize