Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
