everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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