It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
