She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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