R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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