I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
