thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
