so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
