Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
