jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
