I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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