My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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