My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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