we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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