I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
