Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
