you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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