You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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