I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
