We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
