You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
