Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
