sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
