He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
