I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have fence marks all over my body
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
