Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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