No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
