Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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