He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
