She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
