nut hugger
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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