so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
