I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
