Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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