Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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