i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
