Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The air taste purple.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
