he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
