this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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