Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
