the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
