No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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