are you still at the devil's house?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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