garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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