Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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