He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
