dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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