she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize