Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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