I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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