Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
