I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
