Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
