apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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