If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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