we have officially lost it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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