Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize