She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
